© meliapond
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
1 day ago  -  115,665 notes  -  via  -  ©

ICONIC CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE 

(Source: orcses)

1 day ago  -  312,434 notes  -  via  -  ©

goodoldjames:

And this is why THESE two are forever my OTP.

The relationship in this universe has gone far beyond the smooth friendship of Granada or the twisted heated courtship of BBC. They are into old married couple territory and it is spectacular. 

(Source: damagaladriel)

1 day ago  -  43,794 notes  -  via  -  ©

I want us to be friends. Good friends.

(Source: jenxlawrence)

1 day ago  -  478 notes  -  via  -  ©
are you gay?
straight people: wHAT?! NO! WHAT THE HELL OF COURSE NOT! I MEAN IM COOL WITH GAY PEOPLE BUT NO!!!
gay people: hella
pan/bi/poly people: ish?
are you straight?
straight people: YES????? WHAT ELSE WOULD I BE???? DO I LOOK GAY???? IS IT MY SHIRT????
gay people: nah
pan/bi/poly people: ish?
1 day ago  -  100,444 notes  -  via  -  ©

(Source: verenalaura)

2 days ago  -  36,416 notes  -  via  -  ©

Game of Daddy Issues

(Source: fseventh)

3 days ago  -  7,366 notes  -  via  -  ©

Stark’s + their honor  -  4.03

(Source: alexanderobbins)

3 days ago  -  3,237 notes  -  via  -  ©

fasterfood:

"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.

3 days ago  -  74,376 notes  -  via  -  ©

waltzingdead:

#why can’t this be the whole show #and sansa can join their book club (x)

(Source: ed-sheeran)

3 days ago  -  33,323 notes  -  via  -  ©